Friday, April 22, 2016

A Haze Within Some Darkness...

It's 2 A.M. and I think I'm still awake. I honestly don't know what difference that actually makes anymore. It seems the dividing lineaments between life and dreams has vanished in the haze of an immersive fog of delusions. The only light remaining here is the luminescent glow of whatever screen is emitting its imagery into the surrounding æther.

Although I can't see beyond this haze, it somehow feels as if there is a darkness beyond the expanse it occupies. I can't say if this is due to the nocturnal hour projected from a small part of the screen, the dominance of artificial light within this haze over any natural light that might be coming from beyond, something more intuitive, or illusory. What I suspect is all I can proclaim, and I suspect this haze surrounds more than myself

I do not mean to imply that there is any psychedelic, metaphysical, or non-existential essence to this observation. I can't attribute or compare this feeling to some state of hypnosis or altered consciousness either. It is simply as if I've reached a cognitive difference-threshold after some long and gradual shift in the very nature of reality has occurred.

As I ponder how to explain this sentiment more clearly I find myself searching for greater comprehension as to just what it is I am experiencing. In doing so I must admit that the proper words to describe this sense are quite elusive. Despite this difficulty I suspect that I may be able to cast some light on what it is that I'm trying to convey within this haze.

My suspicion is that this fog has not just been produced by the world around me, but as a result of the way I've viewed the world as well. What I mean to say is that I suspect I have altered the way I view the world around me in a way that contributed to the appearance of this fog. I think that part of the reason this haze appears so dense is because I have neglected to use my eyes in a clearly focused manner, and it is only now that I have become aware of the deterioration of my eyes capacity for sharp perception.

I also suspect that this haze itself has contributed to my eyes dulling-down. It is my suspicion that this symptom is endemic. It is my suspicion that there is a treatment or even a cure. It is my suspicion that I have some idea what such a remedy might entail. It is my suspicion that I'm not the only one to have such suspicions. I suspect that everyone has had them in some form or another at some time or another. I am indeed quite suspicious.

I find myself digressing and pondering how I came to notice this haze as having features. One of the first features I noted was that the people I saw around me appeared to have faded within this fog. In fact when I noticed this it appeared as if these people were hardly people at all. They didn't have individual personalities and idiosyncrasies the way I vaguely remember people having. They didn't seem to speak their own words, think their own thoughts, or act their own way. They weren't even acting like other people either. They only appeared to be human-like versions of various pseudo-news outlets, trending memes, and assorted/modified collections of media tropes. It was as if the high-definition screens had sucked all their definition out of them, and replaced it with an abundance of its artificial light.

I experienced this revelation at first with no real sense of horror, or any real sense or any kind at all. Instead I just observed it with the very same mocking dismissals that the screens had injected me with just as well. I thought they were all deluded and diluted, but me- I could see it all clearly, I was sharp, I wasn't like them.

It was only later that I was able to take a look at myself with real eyes in a real mirror. I was only able to do this after asking myself some real questions about who and what I truly was, and how I could know this, and where all these things about myself had been derived. When I clearly saw the truth of my own being. When I saw my face was but another blur within the glowing artificial light of this all consuming haze... then I felt a true sense of horror.

Seeing myself within this haze exposed the nature of this realm. This realm that used to be known as reality had become fused with the other realms of pseudo and non existences. Reality had been too bright and glaring at various times and in certain ways. The glare that gets into your eyes when reality shows them some personal flaw that you can't deny is there can be so blinding. When the screen gives your eyes a substitute view of that same flawed aspect of yourself it's easy to welcome such a sight. When the screen can provide you with visions of everything you can imagine, and make them appear any way you desire it's amazing how easily your eyes can replace themselves along with the rest of reality.

The screen can do more than falsely illuminate your own visions. It can actually assist you in casting those same artificial-visions about you and the world around you into the eyes of others, and cast the visions of others into your eyes. Over time it can synthesize all these visions to appear to you as if there are only two visions. One being the enlightened view that you and those that see things in your way have seen, and the other being the illusions of the wicked and blind hoards of the villains that seek to defile your vision.

 This way of seeing the world within this haze is more terrifying than any blinding glare reality has ever placed before true eyes. This is the way that eyes are reduced to something worse than blindness. This is to view nothing but the haze within some darkness.

There is a better view. There is a way to see through this haze. There is something that can allow you to see through your own eyes for real again. There is a way to see the world more truly.

It might seem that the way to do this is to destroy the screen, or refuse to look at it. This may be of some use, but it isn't necessary, and could be counter productive in the grander scheme. By realizing that the screen only projects artificial imagery, and remaining aware of the fact that however convincing all of these images are comprised of artificial light you can prevent distorting your eyes ability to see clearly. In fact, this may allow you to see the differences between real and artificial light more clearly.

The single most important and useful technique to seeing with clarity is to focus on what is real. When you speak to someone and try to see them clearly as an individual your eyes are at their best. If you focus on them even when they appear as if they have lost all sight and have become but a glowing mass in a haze within some darkness you might be amazed at what you can truly see.

The truth is that our eyes do not see too clearly with much ease. The truth is that it is often very difficult to truly see anything. The truth is that many true visions will not initially appear as a welcomed sight. The truth is that you might not like what you see in yourself, in others, or in much of the world around you. The truth is that it is infinitely easier and immediately more satisfying to relax your eyes and let the artificial lights replace your true vision. The truth is that if you can focus long enough you'll learn to see things much more clearly over time in ways that are much more satisfying than anything within the glowing haze. The truth is that no artificial light is any substitute for the glares of reality. The truth is that the more eyes learn to see this way the more there will be to truly see. The truth is that there are plenty of eyes out there right now that are looking for another welcomed sight. The truth is that these are my suspicions and they may not be your own, but right or wrong- we'll see.

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