Waiting For Sun To Shine (As If There Isn't Enough Light Within)...

I'm just waiting for the sun to shine
as the clouds stand still
while growing dense and heavy
I'm just waiting for the sun to shine
with no connection to my own will
as if its held behind some levee

I'm just waiting for the sun to shine
so I can reflect its light a bit
and pretend I'm shining brightly
I'm just waiting for the sun to shine
to bask in its warmth a bit
forsaking my own warmth (tritely)

I'm just waiting for the sun to shine
as if there isn't enough light within me
while the sun's eternal day goes on elsewhere
I'm just waiting for the sun to shine
or something to ignite from within me
while holding onto this unfixed stare

Waiting for the eventual
despite the events of living
Waiting through the perpetual
for whatever pathology is giving
Waiting for the conceptual
with the concept I'm still missing

I'm just waiting for the sun to shine
as if there isn't the same light within me
Waiting in this dark decline
until I cease to merely be
and seize the reigns- becoming me