Cold Memories...

On cold nights
I often get the chills
from memories
as much as weather
It seems some things
never quite leave you
no matter how much
time or distance
you place
between
them
and
you

If I start coughing
it'll all come back
in memories of that
old affliction I'd had
that even in my prime
could level me
I remember how
it made me feel faint
from even attempting
to make my way up
a single flight of stairs
 to a surface
that I was always under
and always
trying to
reach

If a fever sets in
I'll start to sweat
because I can't
keep my skin
from weeping
the way I can
with my eyes
And then
 coughing
 & sweating
in a sick fever
my mind will
continually pray
either to gawd
or nothing
that
I'm just sick
and that this
is not what
that other
thing
was