Solitary Fears...

I fear sometimes
that my heart
may not quite be my own
and I'm bound to something other
than content to be alone

This fear is of collusion
a watered down confusion
Where what I am
is just a scam
and my myth of self
is pure delusion

I've learned so well
to live and even die
it seems
in this world
where I'm alone
Having learned to be
learned to see
with these eyes
I call my own

I've learned so well
I've learned to tell
what is my own
   that this life's alone
but still I fear a spell

I fear sometimes
my own conception
is built upon some misconception
maligning me to pure deception
and alienating me from my own
  contented affection

I fear sometimes
I'm not this very me
that I've come so very
   far to see
and I fear what else
 there just might be
  or may well be seen
to one day be/become
of me

I fear sometimes
this life I own
is not quite mine
not mine alone
I fear it might have been
diluted
Rendering me
  so convoluted

I live with this fear
   not in it
for dilution
of self
  in fear
 is no solution
and I ascent to have more constitution
   aligned with my own resolution
not to dissolve in solitary fears
  but to be worthy of
   some silent cheers
however frightfully
   far or near
 as long as
they are
  so earned
and sincere
  for that is what
one considers
      dear